Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
