so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
