So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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