btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
