But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
