It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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