Screwed.edu
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
