I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
