My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
