We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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