Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize