I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
