So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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