mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
