Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
