Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
