Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
