Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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