You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize