then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
