Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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