Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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