Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
