After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize