I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
