I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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