need another drink. this is the easiest way
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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