Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
