Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
