We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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