nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
