when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize