he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
