Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
