I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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