in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
