Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
