The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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