Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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