Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wow bdsm is so cute
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
