Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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