Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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