i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
