I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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