too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
