If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
