exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My ass is underappreciated
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
