Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think a kid would responsible me up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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