I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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