i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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