it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want to fling myself into the sun
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
