And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
