***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've blown a few things in my day
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize