You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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