For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
