Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
