these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
