Me. At least after what I've been through.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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