I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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