Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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