I heard we made out
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
