Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
