I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
