yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
