So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Couch. On fire.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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