but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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