Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He did a backflip because drugs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
