all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
