What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
