bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize