I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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