You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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