Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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