I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
