I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't deserve a penis
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
