wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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