I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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